Writing Without Supervision

For me, Wednesday is one of the hardest days to get through. My creative side decides to sleep in, my motivation is on a vacation in Atlantic City, and I generally have a bad hair day.

That being said, here are some writing prompts. (I actually wrote this post on Sunday and set it on a timer, how responsible of me!)

1. You go to your favorite coffee shop one morning and realize everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) is speaking a different language. People can’t understand a word you are saying and you can’t understand them.

2. Write for ten minutes and incorporate the sentences “She didn’t believe me that it would be messy. How wrong she was.”

3. Write a diary entry as one of your parents, age 10.

4. Compose an argument about why puppies are evil and should be illegal (this could be VERY hard).

Note: I actually LOVE puppies.

Any compositions in the comments will be noted in the main post.

If you are querying, there are great resources for critiques and suggestions on what you can do right. Today, however, I’ll give you a few tips on what you want to avoid. Here are some sure fire ways to get that query rejected faster than you can say “I’m seeking representation for my novelization of the hit movie Gigli.”

1. Include your physical address at the TOP of an email.

Some people get confused. There are tons of websites reminding you that a query letter is a business letter. This is true, but whenever you search business letters the format you will find is for a PHYSICAL letter. In emails, keep contact information brief, and in your signature. An email address and phone number is sufficient; if they want more, they will ask.

2. Query for an incomplete manuscript.

This may work for those lucky non-fiction authors out there, but for us fiction writers it’s all or nothing. This MIGHT work if you are famous or have multitudes of previously published (and bestselling) works, but even then it’s an exception.

3. Send out a mass email.

If the letter isn’t personalized to an agent in both greeting AND content, don’t even  bother sending it. Take the time to research the agent and explain why you think it would be a good fit. This should only take a sentence, and will show you did your homework.

4. Start the query with a rhetorical question.

Do you ever find yourself wondering what it would be like to cross the country in a hot air balloon with only the company of a wise-cracking down-on-his-luck talking monkey? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to wake up finding your dream guy standing above your bed only to realize he has fangs? Do you ever— just don’t do it.

5. Use non-publishing credits as credentials.

Did you take AP English in high school?Have a bachelor degree in English? Did your teacher once compliment your short story? Congratulations (really, all of those are good things), however don’t include them. Only include published works or advanced level degrees in your publishing credits paragraph. Specific experiences relevant to the story can be included ONLY if quantifiable (example: spent a year in Iraq as a photojournalist with the X batallion in etc etc; NOT I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I know the pain of a broken heart).

What would you add to this list?

I recently read somewhere that “no one cares that you wrote a book.”

When I saw this I cocked my head sideways and said aloud “well excuuuuse me.”

The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized it was true. Sure back in my hometown people might raise their eyebrows and be impressed at such a feat, however now that I’m in New York City, I realize that the city is nearly bursting with people who have taken a stab at the Great American Novel.

So how do you get people to care that you wrote a book?

They aren’t going to care about the book (at first). No, they need to care about YOU before they will care about your product. YOU need to become your brand. You can do this in several ways:

1. Become an expert in a field.

2. Offer a new and unique angle to your product.

3. Be consistently funny and engaging.

These are just a small example of ways to garner a following and establish a platform. What other ways do you know of that will make people care about YOU before they care about your book?

I’m all packed and ready to go. The big move to New York City happens tomorrow. I’ll be writing, working for The Magazine, blogging, and living up the Big Apple lifestyle that I came to love last summer during my six-month stint in the 212.

Expect posting to return to normal next week, once I’ve *hopefully* found an apartment.

PS: Yes, I am moving to NYC with two suitcases and no place to live. Crazy? Yes.

In one week I’ll be moving to New York City. I currently have no place to live (I’m hoping to remedy this in the very near future).

I’ll be spending most of my time in New York interning for The Magazine. I refer to it as such after learning that the fashion industry is quite picky about their interns having blogs. Apparently many have lost their positions for negative posts, so I’m going to be  private about specifics just in case.

That being said, I am not going into this internship like the other fashion interns out there.

In the course of some vigorous online research (read: drinking a lot of coffee and doing a couple quick Googles), I found the following REAL advice from industry sources:

1. Keep your distance from other interns, in this cut throat industry the only thing you can do is observe your competitors. See what they do and do it better so your boss knows you are the best. What I am going to do: I plan on being friendly to everyone. Painfully friendly. Especially other interns.

2. Don’t ask questions, your superiors expect you to be quiet and do your job with zeal without being a bother. You might be a lowly intern, but if you pay your dues, you can ask questions later after you’ve proved yourself! What I am going to do: I am going to ask a lot of questions. I always do. I want to know how the business works, and why. I want to learn big publishing inside and out, and if I’m starting with a fashion magazine, I don’t think I should treat it differently.

3. Don’t ask for anything until you’ve known someone for at least a year. You are just an intern, they don’t owe you anything! You technically don’t even work there! What I am going to do: I am going to talk about how I work there. I am going to ask for advice, tips, tricks, anything. When I’m done with the internship I’m going to ask for a job (well this one is dependent on a lot of factors, but still.)

Keep track of how my internship adventures go on my new blog (not replacing this one) Mr. Frizzle (named after the enjoyable teacher on Magic School Bus, but I’m dude, so… Mr. Frizzle)

Today, Gawker published a nice piece on the recent announcement that Barnes & Noble is putting itself up for sale. Thoughts?

Today’s writing prompt is going to be image-based. Write for ten minutes about the image found below. The catch: keep the tone as serious as possible.

There are many free resources available online for writers. Some of the most beneficial websites are the blogs of successful agents and writers, where you can see what’s working (and many times they even explain WHY it works.)

Some of my daily visits include:

Nathan Bransford – This San Francisco-based agent not only offers up great industry news, but also hosts a “Page Critique Monday” event on his blog in which he dishes our free advice to his forum members.  

Janet Reid – You should know her, you should follow her. Her blogs are MUST READS for all writers, with Query Shark being top notch of its niche and her agent blog offering great inside perspective on the industry.

Writer’s Digest – If you don’t have a subscription, get one now. If you can’t afford it, browse the free articles they post on their website. They are the authority, IMHO.

Yingle Yangle – Their writing prompts are great fun and their articles are always something I find worthy of a full read-through. Highly recommended.

Slush Pile Hell – This one is just to keep me laughing throughout the day.

Share your own favorite websites, great suggestions will be added to the list!

I love revising. Coming at a draft of my manuscript with fresh eyes and a shiny scalpel gives me an ear-to-ear smile. There is a great joy in slashing words off a sentence and rereading it knowing it is better in its new form. After several hours of revising, I soon find myself stumbling upon many similar first-draft mistakes. Here are five things that don’t make it past the first draft (for me), but which I invariably include in almost every first draft I write.

1.       Unneeded lyricism in the first chapter.
My first chapters are all alike. For some reason, when I sit down with a new project I feel the need to take artistic liberties at the beginning. Adverbs and adjectives up the wazoo, I cram that first chapter to the brim with lyricism. I’m a modern day Shakespeare!, I think to myself as I write it. When I look back however, 95% of it is crap.

2.       “Dialogue tags followed by descriptive action!” Alex called to his audience, cupping his hands to his mouth.

3.       Brand names.
The first time around I often find myself writing “MacBook” and “Pepsi” and “Scotch Brand Invisible Craft Tape”. When I look back and revise, however, I realize “computer”, “soda” and, “tape” work perfectly fine and allow the reader more wiggle room in their mental images.

4.       Drifting to sleep.
I can’t tell you how many chapters I’ve ended with someone “drifting off into the endless void of sleep,” or some other variation thereof. Seriously, I’ve lost count. I think I may be addicted.

5.       Explaining the moral of the book.
In a prime example of telling rather than showing, my first drafts invariably include the dreaded “in case you are stupid, here are the underlying themes of the book” paragraphs somewhere in the middle or end.

What mistakes do you often make? Is there anything you find yourself cutting during revisions on more than one occasion?

Have a great weekend, dear readers! Posts return on Monday!